A Dingbatter complains about the Dingbatter

YHC has been excited about the chance to Q this AO and bring a little Jersey Shore to the Crystal Coast. You see, a million years ago through high school and college, YHC was a beach lifeguard in NJ and remembers fondly competing in Ocean Lifeguard training and competitions (trivia note: Lifeguard Racing is the state sport of NJ)

Numbers were low this morning so apparently YHC underestimated the PAX’s desire to play lifeguard for a day. In fact, until the 1 minute warning it looked as if it might be an all Navy family workout as only Putin and Jar Jar Binks had posted. Luckily Cooter, Birdman and Griswold stood tall for the double and came screaming in from what sounded like a typical Couchpotato beating at FOD.

After a brief mission statement we moseyed East past Pillbox Hill (which unfortunately had been fenced in since Wed and thus thwarted YHC’s plan of 7s at the waterslide). Since 4 of us were already warm we did an abbreviated warmorama with right over left, left over right, cotton pickers, sun gods and hillbillys all x10 IC.

We moseyed a little further East to “El Zarape” hill for 7’s with burpees at the bottom and merkins at the top. Bear crawl up and jog down.

Next up was and Indian walk with sprints for 1/4 mile and regular Indian run for the next 1/4 until we reached the beach access in Janelle Dr.  This is where the lifeguard training started.

We started with a series of 50 yard soft sand sprints with plyometrics on either end. One end was tuck jumps and the other was skater jumps. Rinse repeat x 2.

Next we mosed in the hard sand to start our waterborne work. First exercise was hard sand sprint to the West of about 50 yards to a flag, turn and surf dash to chest deep water, turn back East and swim until even with the starting point and surf dash in. Rinse repeat x 2.

It was about this point that the Dingbatter crew had a less than pleasant visit from a real live Dingbatter. YHC had put out some bouys about chest deep earlier in the morning. These were supposed to be the markers we would use for the previous exercise. Apparently they didn’t hold bottom because when we arrived they were in a trash can. The real live Dingbatter wanted to let us know how irresponsible we were for putting out something so “dangerous” as an empty plastic gallon jug on the end of some twine. He was worried his son would get “tangled up” in it. Apparently, the thought of saying “Timmy don’t go near the plastic jug” hadn’t occurred to him as an alternative. This was all the more ironic because he was casting a surf rod with a barbed hook (probably baited with rotten clam) into the waves where little Timmy was frolicking….No worries Mr. Dingbatter, we will be more careful now that you’ve given us an invigorating and poignant safety brief.

Undeterred, we moved on to simulated resuces. PAX in groups would sprint to chest deep (because there were no bouys out there) whereupon one partner would become a “victim” and go limp. The other PAX in each group would then have to drag the lifeless body back through the surf and to the flag. Rinse and repeat x 3. Note: birdman did a masterful job playing the role of lifeless victim.

The final wet exercise was 50 yard high knee sprints in knee high water. Rinse and repeat x 2.

After a brief swim break we moseyed to the pavilion of pain for some picnic table strength training. The PAX took places around a picnic table and did  picnic table deadlifts x 10 (with a PAX on top), curls x 15 and shoulder presses x 10. Rinse and repeat.

Mosey back to the flag for a round of dealers choice Mary. Freddie Mercs x 20 IC, birdman crunches x 20 IC, plank jacks IC x 20, LBCs single count x 20 and crunchy frogs IC x 20.

Sparkles on the Green Mile Monday. Keep Cooter and family in your prayers as he goes in for melanoma removal on Monday AFTER he posts for the Green Mile…BEAST MODE. Cooter took us out with heartfelt words and prayers for Blart and family.

Thank you so much to those who could double post to support me this morning. It’s not easy to walk after Couchpotato gets done with us let alone post for another hour workout. YHC humbly apprecaites your willingness to do so.

As always, it is my honor and pleasure to spend the morning with you gentlemen.

SYITG!!!