Mumblechatter

Mumblechatter. The thing we all love to give, yet struggle at times to receive. Today was the first morning since YHC began F3 on March 15, 2017, not to be joined by another PAX. However, it turned out to be one of the best ones yet. Bundled up as much as possible, my Rucker was thrown over my shoulders, and off towards the Pier I went. I found myself anxious and excited, ready to give much less mumblechatter to the Lord and to take in any and everything that He was willing to speak to me.

Everyone starts the new year off with goals, and YHC is no different. A lot of “better ness” in many different categories is desired. Spiritually, my Marriage, Ministry and Physically to name a few. I spent the beginning part of my ruck/run just telling the Lord thank you for any and everything that I could think of. Forgiving me of my sins, and not giving up on me when I have turned away continually from Him through the years. My amazing wife and dog who bring me so much peace and love in this crazy world. Our careers where we get to impact lives working in the church and the school system. Our home and our family and friends. F3. And so many other things. He has blessed me in so many ways, and I can get caught up at times in the business of life and forget that He has always, is and will always be for me. Pausing and being thankful changes so much in my heart and mind. I love encouraging others and helping them along in their journey, but honestly, I just needed some alone time in the gloom with my Heavenly Father today.

Once I got to the pier, I took my Rucker off and attempted to snap a picture, since it was just moments away from a gorgeous sunrise. As soon as I clicked the camera function, my phone died! Sorta sad I missed the photo, I was reminded by Him to be fully present in the moments that come my way this year. I can become so distracted pursuing things that I enjoy (netflix and sports to name a few) that I can ignore some of the greatest relationships that God has sent my way. Yes, it’s possible to be with someone but not be there at all. So I hit pause on my fitbit and just sat and watched the sun rise. It was stunning.

I’m praying for some big breakthroughs this year in my marriage. Physically, I’m attempting to do things I never have before. I’m asking for help to keep me focused and disciplined to be all that I can be as a pastor. But most importantly, I want to be a man after God’s heart. All of the other stuff is pointless without being in the center of His will.

So that’s what I’m asking Him to tell me today and every day. God, I need some mumblechatter from You. Sometimes He gives it by affirming me as His child, and how much He loves me and how great His grace and mercy is. There have been so many times I have needed to hear that and accepted it. But I also need to hear the things that are tough to hear. Areas that I need to change, give up or grow in. Reminders to stay away from the guardrails that can lead to destruction on the other side. This life is full of choices, and I know how to make some good ones, and I have made my fair share of bad ones. I long to make the God choices. For myself, my family, and the people God places around me in this life.

Today might show up in the books as a PAX of 1, but I was not alone. I got in 4 miles when all was said and done. I learned that I think/listen better when I’m not running with my Rucker, so I mixed up walking/running along the workout so I could enjoy being in His presence. God is a God of the second chance. He has given me my fair share through the years. My hearts desire is not to waste it. My wife and family and friends, and the people I haven’t even met yet, deserve my very best in who I am and all that I do. I have a long ways to go. But today I woke up, posted, knelt down at the end of my workout and prayed to my Heavenly Father. And there is no better way I would have wanted to kick off 2018 in 21 degree weather than on a Ruck with God. Extremely humbled today and excited about what is to come in the days ahead. Thanks for letting me be a part of this thing that has connected so many of us called F3.

-Laettner