The Road Not Traveled

It doesn’t take near as long to get to Fort Benjamin as one would think.  YHC picked up Big Mic for some clown car’in at 0505 so as to be not be tardy for today’s Hole in None.  So when we arrived at 0515 we weren’t really sure what to do with ourselves.  There was plenty of time for stretching, learning about how Gert stole a baseball bag from Dick’s Sporting Goods, and being serenaded by Ricardo’s trumpetmanship, trumpeteering, or is it trumpetto.  Alas, who can really know?

As the PAX grew to what would be 12, YHC learned some of the rich history of Newport, NC from Monkey Wrench.  Newport, incorportated in 1637, was a Native American strong hold for many years.  Newport, in Algonquin is pronounced Newport, and it means those that shall rise from the river basin to conquer the mighty beast.  Their main export is balsam and George Washington once slept here.  Did you know that Newport is home to the longest Christmas Parade east of Raleigh?  I do now.  But of all her many splendors, Newport offers us Fort Benjamin Park.  A sprawling AO, unlike any other offered in Carterico.  Named after a Civil War encampment of Southern Gentlemen defending states’ rights, this park could be the next big thing.  If you haven’t posted or q’ed here, put it on your list.  Lots of options men.  Including a ½ mile road that “no one ever drives down,” according to Blart.

As the minute warnings approached, YHC had time to set his non GPS, non picture drawing, plain old watch to GST (Gert Standard Time).  As part of the welcome and disclaimer, I felt it necessary to let everyone know that this one was going to be improvised at best.  Ole Duck learned of his qship while walking out of baseball practice yesterday evening.  In fact, I had planned on posting at the Chicken Shack in Beaufort so I can say I’ve posted at every AO, and get my name on one of the 17  planks we have in Carterico.  But to get a chance to Q at THE Hole in None, Carterico’s first Black Op, and what historically is the loudest and raunchiest circle to welcome, I was pumped.

Appropriate disclaimer given and setting expectations low for this workout given my lack of planning we were off into the Newport darkness, without the benefit of Shroom and his sidearm, or Blue Cross and his knife.  The PAX was led down a long road running between the park and Hwy 70, that is never used according to locals for

Warmarama

SSHs IC x 20

Cotton Pickers IC x15

Potato Pickers IC x10, and here comes the first car down the road.

Sun Gods IC forward x10, cue car #2.  And then reverse x10

Figure 4 Pistol squat, CAR….game off.

R over L and hang.  L over R and hang.

Seeking refuge from the Carterican Beltline we hustled into the park via some rubber road towards the tennis courts.  JANG—–seriously, they have this rubber parking lot trail or something, you’d love it.  Apparently, Newporters don’t like pavement pounding and they recycle.

Thanks to Blart for leading us to the tennis courts for

The Thang 1-An Ode to The Dipper

Partnered up on the sideline of western most court.  We would do some of The Dipper’s famous Tablesetter back and forths on the tennis courts.

One partner would run from fence to fence twice, while the other partner AMRAP’d the prescribed exercise.

1. Merkins
2. Squats
3. Carolina Dry Docks
4. Step Back Lunges

Monkey Wrench provided a much needed 10 count while YHC summoned enough breath to explain the next part of Newport Wimbledon.  We would do a variation of Catch Me If You Can.  One partner would begin bear crawling to the far side across both tennis courts, while the other partner ran from fence to fence and back to catch and switch.  The bear crawl portion went from one fence to the other.

Lap 2, substituted the bear crawl for the Inch Worm Merkin, a personal favorite stolen from Misty.  Yeah these were fun.  Hilary’s encouragement for his fellow man was truly touching as he implored Pastor Cleaver to push.  Bayliner was not amused and told him to STFU.  True story.  Couldn’t believe it either.  I know he’ll deny it, but we were there.  We know.  Apparently, inch worm merkins are his kryptonite.

Recovering on the mosey, and quite honestly still a bit taken a back, we hustled back from whence we came, back out the rubber trail thing and on the road with “no” cars.  As we got passed by another Benchmark Auto sedan, Plunger surmised they had found a short cut to go to the neighboring nursing home, but Buckeye thinks we thwarted several drug deals.  F3, baby.  Making a difference.  Keeping drugs off the streets of Newport.

We hustled back to some sort of park gift shop and/or inside pool for

The Thang 2-Jack Webb Combos

Combo 1- People’s Chair coupled with Wojo Jump Squats.  The People’s Chair were counted Mississippily, and the WJS were in cadence.  4/8/12/16.  For the record, Pasqually’s People’s Chair was a park bench, Hilary was still empowering us all to do more, and Bayliner was even more pissed.

Combo 2-Dips and Derkins on some benches on the perimeter of a grassy knoll.  Seriously, Ft. Benjamin has everything.  Dips were in cadence, and derkins were single count.  Tclaps to Plunger for offering to count while YHC was incoherently moaning.

Combo 3-BTW and Air Presses back at the concession stand/gift shop.  But upon dirty marks on the wall after the first set, Blart and Buckeye hijacked the Q and forced an Omaha to a Shakespearean Amphitheater.  Gert and Pasqually spent the next two sets looking for a light switch to The Globe, but it wasn’t meant to be.  The rest of us did 4/8/12/16 of BTW and Air presses.  At some point during these, Big Mic takes his shirt off.  It’s rumored Bayliner made him, but that is unsubstantiated.

Sensing our shoulders were cooked quite enough, and honestly too damn dizzy to do another BTW, YHC led the PAX in some pick the cherries off the tree and put them in the basket.  Pasqually was not amused, but didn’t have another light switch to look for.  He said something that everyone laughed at, but I still had Ricardo’s trumpetaries ringing in my head.

We recovered on the mosey again, back and out into a parking lot large enough for NC State football tailgating.  Each member of the PAX got their own parking spot, opposite an empty spot 20 yards away for

The Thang 3-Knockout

On YHCs go, each man would sprint to the opposite parking block and back.  Whoever finished last would be knocked out until only 2 remained.  YHC proudly reports, he was not the first one out.  Nor the second one out.  Our last two combatants were Buckeye and Plunger.  Plunger edged him for the win, but Buckeye was right there.  Great push by both.

A little figure 8 mosey to hit the 2 mile mark and we were back at the flag.  No mary.  It’s Jang’s world now.

Announcements

Frosted Flake shall wreak havoc at the Swashbuckler.

Monkey is at the Court.

Wi-Fi is at the Man O’War

Maytag at the Rolling Stone.

Big Mic spent this afternoon speaking to students at WCHS as part of lunch time engagement to show kids all the opportunities that await them.  If any of you, your business, or someone you know would like an opportunity to speak, do not hesitate to ask.

Prayer Requests

Blart’s boss

Big Mic took the PAX out in the Ball of Man.

I am always humbled by your attendance whenever I have an opportunity to lead a workout.  Thanks for playing along this morning.

Monkey, was that ok?

Duck, out.